Sorry guys. It has been a couple days and no post. Well lst night I went and saw the midnight showing for Eclipse. It was amazing. Today, I totally nailed my Speech in speech class. I'm positive I got an A. The other day, the 29th, me and my mom got into an argument over something stupid. But thats all done and water under the bridge. Honestly, I haven't thought about what to post as a blog. I haven't thought of anything at all. But for this blog, I'm gonna update you on me. If you are a friend of mine, have you ever asked me how I am and I say something like, been better? Or fine? That is exactly how I have been the past week or so. Fine. Does anyone know what the word fine even means. To most it means well, or manageable. To me, fine means, Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. So, now you know what I mean when I say fine. I am not dramatic, don't get me wrong, but right now, I am fine. Being single has been great. No leashes. Get to go out and do as I please without having to come up with an explanation. Don't have to deal with dumb rumors that try to jeperdize (dnt know how to spell that) your relationship. Well, this past week or so, I've realized that I don't like the single life as much as I thought. Here is the problem with the world, expecially in gay world, everything is always either drama drama drama, or sex sex sex. Why can't it just be right. great. wonderful. Maybe even almost perfect. I've always been the kind of person that laughed and the happy ending in the movies and books because I know it isn't really like that in real life. But just once, for me, I wish it could be like that. All I wish for is happiness with someone. No strings attached. Something true. Something that doesn't need money, sex, or drama to last. Something that last just by looking at eachother and knowing it will always be there. So everyone, this is what is on my mind. I want that person that fits this description. Who is he? I don't even know the answer to that question. But I know he is out there somewhere, and one day, maybe just one day, I'll find him. And everything will be great. Until then, I'm going to write..and paint..take pictures..hang with friends...listen to music..any thing that can keep me happy. And hopefully one day, maybe even sometime soon, life will introduce me to this person. Me, I have never really had a set criteria standard on the person I date. Usually, I just make sure the person isn't way bigger than me and the person has a great personalilty and is sweet. But now, I have a set criteria. I want sweetness. Real love. Someone that doesn't seem sex dependent. Someone who is into the same stuff I'm into. Someone who I can have a good time with. Someone I can trust. Someone I can have nice conversations with. Someone that I have things in common with so we can both enjoy things together. This is what I want. And it's what I deserve. And one day, this person will be mine, I will be happy. It will be my happy ending.
Until next time, Todd Etress
No comments:
Post a Comment